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Being a Guy in the Time of Rapes is Equally Frightful

Parikshit Joshi       |   2014-06-02 01:02:30   |   Women   |   Opinion   |   Posted By: Invade Cafe

The other day, I and a female friend of mine were having a conversation and I don’t know how we stepped into the topic of feminism. She just started talking about the way girls are treated in the society. Like guys are allowed to go for night outs and night stays but no girl would be generally allowed on streets after 8 p.m. or so. There will be lined up phone calls and messages. Also, when this all started she jumped to topics like getting married, having children; everything ACCEPTED but to end it up she said, “Everything is just so easy for guys.”

Actually that is not what I believe in. According to me, the strong feminist view has widened the gap between the two genders and has worsened the situation for males as well.
Wait, I wrote ‘genders’ and not ‘sexes’. Yes, exactly because sex is just a biological difference while gender encompasses a biological, social and philosophical aspect; and this aspect has been a much debated topic from the very beginning of time.
Today, as crime against women rise, it is true that girls are afraid to even step out alone once it is dark, true but is every other guy to be blamed for that? A clear no! But actually this is what exactly happens. Males are seen with a totally different viewpoint.
For instance, say any random guy gets pushed in a crowded bus against a girl and eyes stare him in a weird way and the moment he tries to clarify it is seen as a chance to talk. Worst, if he doesn’t ask for apology!
You find a girl facing some chaos and you ask for help, you are seen as acting smart and if you don’t offer, attitude!
Worst is the situation when the character of a guy is assassinated raising feminist flags.
Yes, it indeed happened when a guy in one of the colleges in Delhi got suspended on a mere allegation by a girl of stalking. The guy was not even given a chance to speak!   
I really don’t know whether he was at guilt or no, neither am I defending the boy but I wish a proper procedure was followed. 
Feminism is the new cool, therefore it is kept alive in the media but its aftermaths are never imagined.
I remember, there were cover stories and follow ups about the demons that attacked Lakshmi with acid, near the Khan Market Metro Station in Delhi but the superhuman who married her could not even make it a headline. Many people might be surprised to read that lashmi is even married!
It is not just the media; we too are selective about the items we ‘buy’. Numerous people might have the minutest detail about the culprits in the Damini rape case but about the guy who fought for her but was outnumbered by the rapists only a few might have the slightest knowledge.
Fewer might have read the story by India Today which focused on the reason for a rape and brought out real reasons unlike blaming the opposite gender!
Before anyone claims that I have been passing sexist comments, as is the fashion, I would like to clarify that any gender is of absolutely no problem to me. The problem is that a situation which needed a much logical approach has been severely over-romanticized.
The society doesn’t need extreme-Feminists the way it doesn’t need Patriarchs. The society calls for ‘Equalists’ for whom male and female are sexes and not genders. 

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Rapes, Women Safety, Boys in the Rape World, Gender discrimination
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User Comments

  1. Shivani Bazaz -  3 hours ago

    very very powerful thought :)

  2. Shilpi Negi -  3 hours ago

    You seriously leave an impact by your articles! Way to Go Parikshit!